Dear lovers,
Pleasure is one of the most incredible ways to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. When we say ‘the parasympathetic nervous system’, this essentially means the part of our nervous system that relaxes us, releasing our feel good hormones and allows your mind and body to relax and release. In today's blog, sexologist and registered nurse, Annalise, will walk you through how pleasure supports your nervous system and what you can do to use your pleasure as a way to regulate and calm your nervous system.
Defining Pleasure
Pleasure can be described as a multidimensional experience, including physical, psychological, emotional and erotic experiences. Pleasure can be derived from many different experiences in life. From simple day to day pleasures, things like sipping a hot coffee, receiving a hug, enjoying the sunset or hearing the words ‘I love you’ from someone important in your life, these are all examples of things that are small pleasures.
Pleasure is a sensation, an emotion and a state of being. Pleasure feels like your mind and body saying ‘yes’ to an experience. It is when your mind and body recognise something as enjoyable and satisfying. As you are reading this, I have no doubt that you are recalling specific moments, experiences, sensations or interactions that were pleasurable.
Parasympathetic Vs Sympathetic Nervous Systems
The nervous system has two primary branches, the sympathetic (fight or flight) and parasympathetic (rest and digest). Today we will be focusing on the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). When the body and PNS are in rest and digest, this reduces the heart rate, blood pressure and calms the breath. This is the opposite of a stress response, allowing your body and mind to relax and experience pleasure. We know that things like chronic stress and trauma can activate the sympathetic NS causing a state of fight or flight, reducing your capacity to experience pleasure, especially when it comes to sex and intimacy.
The Parasympathetic Nervous System And Pleasure
Studies show us that to fully experience pleasure and enjoy a range of sensory input our bodies require a foundation of safety. The more we practice activating the parasympathetic nervous system, the more relaxed, safe and grounded the body and mind feel. When we experience pleasure, we activate the parasympathetic nervous system. When engaging inpleasurable sensory experiences (like sex and physical intimacy), the body releases dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin, our feel good hormones, further activating the parasympathetic nervous system and suppressing our stress arousal. While sexual pleasure can be fantastic for reducing stress, it is essential that the body feels safe and grounded to fully engage in sex and intimacy first.
Ways To Activate The Parasympathetic Nervous System For Greater Sex & Intimacy
It is important to note that prioritising pleasure and creating a foundation for safety starts well before the bedroom (so to speak). If your sympathetic nervous system is often overactive, due to things like stress or trauma, it may be impacting your ability to fully experience pleasure.
Grounding practices like daily breathwork using the 4-7-8 technique is one of the fastest ways to activate your parasympathetic (rest and digest) system. Practicing mindfulness and paying close attention to your sensory experience in day to day activities not only has a grounding effect on your body, but also teaches your mind and body to become attuned to the micro sensations that you are capable of experiencing. Mindfully eating, tasting and describing the smell, tastes and textures. Becoming aware of the way you touch your own body, if you enjoy soft, firm or tickling touches. Taking moments to wiggle your toes and feel your feet on the floor each morning. Go for a walk and clearly observe your surroundings. Taking an extra few seconds in a hug to really feel the touch and warmth of a loved one. These are the small moments where you get to be an active participant in your sensory experience of life.
Applying this mindful approach to your self pleasure practice is where you get to maximise your pleasure. A very simple way to build pleasure in your body is to adopt a slow, intentional practice, taking time to really feel every touch. For example, using your favourite VUSH toy, take your time, focus on the feeling, the softness, the vibration, the firmness. Really note each and every sensation that your body can feel. Hot tip, my advice is to always add lube! Using a great quality lubricant will increase your sensitivity and enhance the pleasurable sensations.
How Does This Impact Sex & Pleasure?
You might be wondering what this has to do with sex and intimacy, and I can tell you now that these daily practices will absolutely impact your experience of sex and pleasure.
By creating habits that continue to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, you are creating the feeling of safety and grounding that your body and mind need to fully open and experience pleasure.
By practicing mindfulness in day to day activities, you are fully immersing yourself in feeling, knowing and understanding the range of sensory experiences that your body is capable of.When it comes to sex and physical intimacy, your mind and body are going to be ready and open to feeling and experiencing pleasure. The foundation of safety will be set and you will be more attuned to the way that you want to give and receive during intimacy.
The more your nervous system feels safe and grounded, the greater your capacity for pleasure.
The more you are curious about your sensory experience in day to day life, the more sensitive and aware you will be when it comes to enjoying sexual pleasure. I challenge you to adopt these practices and see how pleasure and intimacy change for you.
Your body and mind are so capable of experiencing a full range of pleasure and you have the power to work with your nervous system, not against it.
And remember, you can always seek support from a sexual health professional, sexologist or even your regular therapist.
With love,
Annalise Webster
Sexologist | Registered Nurse
