Quick answer: The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located about 5–8cm inside the rectum, toward the belly button. It’s rich in nerve endings and is sometimes called the “P-spot” or “male G-spot.” Stimulating it (internally with a finger or toy, or externally via the perineum) can produce deep, full-body orgasms that feel distinct from penile orgasms.
Here’s a fact that most sex education quietly skips: the prostate is one of the most pleasure-rich areas of the male body. It sits a few centimetres inside the rectum, it’s densely packed with nerve endings, and stimulating it can produce orgasms that feel completely different to anything penile stimulation can offer. The only reason most blokes have never tried it is because nobody told them they could.
A 2018 study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that men who practised prostate stimulation reported significantly higher orgasm intensity and overall sexual satisfaction than those who didn’t (Levin, 2018). And yet, most men have never been told this is even an option. This guide changes that.
This article is for anyone with a prostate (or anyone who shares their bed with one). (Part of our Erogenous Zones & Anatomy Guide series.)
What Is the Prostate, Exactly?
The prostate is a small gland, about the size of a walnut, that sits below the bladder and surrounds the urethra. Its main biological job is producing seminal fluid, the liquid that mixes with sperm to form semen. But because it’s located in such a nerve-dense part of the body, it also happens to be a major pleasure zone.
It’s reachable from inside the rectum. About 5–8cm in, on the front wall (the side closest to the belly button), you’ll find a firm, slightly raised area that feels distinctly different from the soft tissue around it. That’s the prostate.
It’s sometimes referred to as the P-spot or the male G-spot, not because it’s anatomically equivalent to the female G-spot, but because the experience is comparable: a deep, internal pleasure point that takes a different kind of stimulation than the more obvious external zones.
Why Prostate Orgasms Are Different
Prostate orgasms are often described as longer, deeper, and more full-body than orgasms from penile stimulation alone. Some people report multiple peaks, a rolling wave of sensation, or orgasms without ejaculation — because prostate stimulation engages a different set of nerves and muscles than penis stimulation.
Research suggests that prostate stimulation activates the pelvic and hypogastric nerves, while penile stimulation activates the pudendal nerve (Komisaruk et al., 2011). That’s a different neural pathway, which is why the orgasm feels different. It’s not better or worse, it’s a separate experience that adds to your body’s pleasure repertoire rather than replacing what you already know.
Before You Start: The Prep
Prostate play is straightforward, but a bit of preparation makes the whole thing easier and more enjoyable.
1. Hygiene
A normal shower beforehand is more than enough for most people. The lower rectum is typically empty between bowel movements, so things are usually cleaner than people imagine. If you want extra peace of mind, an anal douche or enema with warm water about an hour beforehand removes any concern entirely. You don’t need to make this a production, a quick rinse is fine.
2. Lube. Lots of lube.
This is non-negotiable. Unlike the vagina, the rectum doesn’t self-lubricate. Use a generous amount of water-based or silicone-based lube on whatever you’re inserting and on the surrounding area. Reapply as needed. Skipping lube is the single biggest reason people have a bad first experience with anal play.
3. Trim your nails
If you’re using fingers (yours or a partner’s), trim and file your nails first. The rectal lining is delicate and small scratches are uncomfortable.
4. Get aroused first
Don’t go straight for the prostate cold. Spend time on whatever turns you on first, fantasy, foreplay, penile stimulation, so your body is already in a high-arousal state when you start exploring. The prostate is more responsive when you’re already turned on.
How to Find and Stimulate the Prostate
Method 1: External (Perineum)
If you’re not ready for internal play, you can still stimulate the prostate from outside the body. The perineum, the smooth area between the testicles and the anus, sits directly above the prostate. Firm, rhythmic pressure here (with fingers, the heel of your hand, or a perineum-targeted toy) stimulates the prostate indirectly. It’s subtle, but it’s a great entry point for first-timers.
Method 2: Internal with a Finger
Get comfortable. Apply plenty of lube to your finger and around the anus. Insert slowly, first up to the first knuckle, then deeper as your body relaxes. Curl your finger toward the front of your body (toward your belly button). About 5–8cm in, you’ll feel a firm, walnut-sized area that’s distinctly different from the surrounding tissue. That’s it.
Once you’ve found it, experiment with different motions: a gentle “come here” curl, slow circles, or steady pressure. Pressure tends to feel better than rapid movement. Build slowly. The first sensation is often subtle, less of an immediate jolt and more of a deep, warm fullness that intensifies over time.
Method 3: Internal with a Toy
A purpose-built prostate toy is curved specifically to reach the prostate without you having to do the work, and many include vibration to add another layer of sensation. Look for something with a flared base (essential for safety, anything inserted into the rectum needs a base wider than the body of the toy to prevent it being lost), a curved shaft, and ideally adjustable vibration. Browse the VUSH range to find what suits you.
Method 4: Combined Stimulation
The most intense prostate orgasms often come from combining internal prostate stimulation with simultaneous penile stimulation. A vibrating stroker like the Sol handles the front while a prostate toy works internally. This is where prostate play really shines, the dual sensation builds toward something genuinely new.
What It Actually Feels Like
Don’t expect fireworks the first time. Prostate pleasure is subtle at first, more of a slow build than a sudden jolt. Many people describe the initial sensation as a deep, warm pressure that builds gradually into something more intense. It can take several sessions before you start to map exactly what works for you.
When a prostate orgasm does happen, it often feels different from a penile one. People describe it as deeper, more spread out across the pelvis, longer-lasting, and sometimes accompanied by spontaneous muscle contractions in the legs and abdomen. Some experience prostate orgasms without ejaculating, these are sometimes called dry orgasms or non-ejaculatory orgasms, and they’re entirely normal.
Common Concerns (And the Honest Answers)
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“Does prostate play say anything about my sexuality?” No. Prostate play is about anatomy, not orientation. Your prostate has nerve endings regardless of who you’re attracted to. Plenty of straight men enjoy prostate stimulation, either solo or with a partner, and it has zero bearing on their sexuality.
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“Is it safe?” Yes, when done correctly. The keys are: use plenty of lube, go slowly, only insert toys with a flared base, and stop if anything is painful. Pain is a signal, not part of the experience.
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“What about hygiene?” It’s less of an issue than people fear. The lower rectum is usually empty, and a quick shower beforehand is enough for most people. Wear gloves or condoms on toys and fingers if you want extra reassurance.
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“What if I don’t feel anything at first?” Completely normal. The prostate often takes a few sessions to “wake up.” Be patient, stay relaxed, and treat it as exploration rather than performance.
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“Can I do this with a partner?” Absolutely. Many people find prostate play more enjoyable with a partner because they can fully relax. Communication is everything, tell them what feels good and what doesn’t.
It’s Also Good for You
Beyond the pleasure, regular prostate stimulation has potential health benefits. A long-term study in European Urology found that men who ejaculated more frequently had a lower risk of prostate cancer (Rider et al., 2016). Prostate massage is also used clinically to relieve symptoms of chronic prostatitis. So pleasure aside, paying attention to the prostate is genuinely good for prostate health.
Related: Erogenous Zones & Anatomy Guide | Erogenous Zones & How to Stimulate Them | Clitoris Anatomy Guide | Vulvas 101 | Everything About the G-Spot
FAQs
Where exactly is the prostate?
The prostate sits below the bladder, surrounding the urethra. From inside the rectum, you can find it about 5–8cm in, on the front wall (toward the belly button). It feels firm and slightly raised compared to the surrounding tissue.
How long does it take to have a prostate orgasm?
It varies. Some people experience prostate orgasms on their first try; others take several sessions to learn what works. Patience matters, the prostate often becomes more responsive with practice as your body learns to associate the sensation with pleasure.
Can I have a prostate orgasm without ejaculating?
Yes. Non-ejaculatory orgasms (sometimes called dry orgasms) are common with prostate stimulation. The orgasmic contractions still happen, you just don’t ejaculate. This is one reason prostate play is associated with multiple orgasms in some people.
Do I need a special toy?
Not necessarily, a finger works fine for getting started. But a purpose-built prostate toy is curved to reach the prostate without strain and often includes vibration. The most important rule: any toy used internally must have a flared base to prevent it from being lost in the rectum. This is non-negotiable.
Is prostate stimulation only for gay men?
No. The prostate is anatomy, not orientation. Anyone with a prostate can enjoy prostate stimulation, and plenty of straight, bi, and gay men do. Your interest in prostate play has nothing to do with who you’re attracted to.
Sources
Levin, R.J. (2018). “Prostate-induced orgasms: a concise review illustrated with a highly relevant case study.” Clinical Anatomy, 31(1), 81–85.
Komisaruk, B.R. et al. (2011). “The science of orgasm.” Johns Hopkins University Press.
Rider, J.R. et al. (2016). “Ejaculation frequency and risk of prostate cancer: updated results with an additional decade of follow-up.” European Urology, 70(6), 974–982.
Wibowo, E. & Wassersug, R.J. (2016). “Multi-orgasmic men: prostate-induced orgasms and ejaculation control.” Sexual Medicine Reviews, 4(2), 168–175.
Worth Exploring
Your body has more pleasure pathways than you’ve been told. We’re just here to help you find them. Browse the full VUSH range.