How often do you try new things in the bedroom? Whether it’s a brand new sex toy or a minor adjustment to a sex position, there are plenty of ways to change up your routine to increase pleasure and play.
Spicing up your sex life doesn’t always mean dressing up or trying fancy new sex tech — it can just be about diversifying your routine or engaging in fun, healthy, playful experimentation.
VUSH’s sexpert Steph has put together a list of the top 10 ways to spice up your sex life.
10 ways to get creative in the bedroom
1. Start the conversation
How often do you actually discuss sex with your partner/s? Talking about sex is an act of intimacy (not to mention great foreplay). Having regular, ongoing discussions about sex is a great way to check in on how satisfied you and your partner are, and discover whether there’s anything new you’d like to try. The first step to spicing things up in the bedroom is reflecting on what you actually want to add to your sex life, and then talking about it!
Not sure how to get this convo started? VUSH’s new deck of 50 conversation cards are the perfect opportunity. From sexual awakenings to dirty talk and turn ons, these cards include all the questions you’re dying to know the answer to. Using conversation cards inspires creativity in the bedroom and gives you a chance to learn more about your partner’s sexuality. (They also offer a great opportunity to give feedback and set boundaries if you’ve been waiting for a chance to have a potentially difficult conversation.)
2. Include a vibrator
Yep, of course we’ve included vibrators in the list.
Adding a clitoral vibrator into penetrative sex is a must-try for all vulva owners. Contrary to popular belief, the clitoris is the sex centre of the body (not the vagina!). The clit is the only part of the body that is designed purely for pleasure. Adding a clitoral suction vibrator, bullet vibrator, or a dual tip vibrator can make a world of difference to a vulva owner’s ability to orgasm and receive pleasure.
Clitoral vibrators not your thing? Internal vibrators are just as exciting. Try combining a G spot vibrator while a partner stimulates the clitoris with their hands or tongue. Otherwise, why not opt for mutual masturbation while a partner uses a toy of their own?
Don’t forget about all the ways you can use a vibrator on other erogenous zones, such as the anus, nipples, or neck. We recommend versatile vibrators like a bullet vibrator or a wand vibrator for whole body pleasure.
3. Add lube or massage oil
We view lube as an essential to both solo and partnered play. A good quality lubricant makes everything feel smoother and more pleasurable by reducing friction. Lube is also super sensual to apply — putting it on is foreplay!
If sensuality is what you’re after, try a massage oil! Massage can be a great form of foreplay as it can relax your muscles and produce endorphins that make you feel good in your body, leading to increased sexual desire. It’s also a great way to get a fix of physical touch, if that’s one of your love languages. (Be careful though, oil can break down condoms and dams, so we recommend sticking to water-based lube if you’re using barrier methods.)
4. Try a vibrating stroker
Did you know VUSH now stocks non-intimidating, beginner-friendly sex toys for penises? A penis stoker is a great way to mix things up in the bedroom. With internal ribbing and 10 vibration modes, a stroker is like an expert-level handjob. Whether you’re using it alone or with a partner, a stroker adds a new type of sensation that can’t be achieved with hands alone. Try it with a partner by using the vibrations on the shaft of the penis while a partner stimulates the tip with their hands or tongue. Hot tip: Apply water-based lube to the inside of the toy before use and adjust the wings to accommodate size!
5. Use a cock ring
Using a cock ring is the perfect way to add a little spice to intercourse. Not only does a cock ring enhance erections by maintaining and sustaining blood flow to the penis, it can also prolong sex by delaying ejaculation. And the best part is, mutual pleasure for both partners — VUSH’s pleasure ring includes motorised rabbit ears to allow the receiving partner to enjoy vibrations against their clit or anus during intercourse.
Adding a pleasure ring is a surefire way to spice up intercourse without making a major change or breaking the bank. You can still enjoy the classic sex positions that we’re sure you’re well across, such as missionary or cowgirl/boy, just with the added benefit of extra stimulation for both partners.
6. Fill out a ‘yes, no, maybe’ list
Don’t worry, we’ve also got plenty of cost-free options to spice up your sex life too.
A yes, no, maybe list is a way for partners to explore sex while also setting boundaries. Some call the red, yellow, green traffic light system, but either way, the goal is to categorise sex acts into “firm no/hard pass”, “maybe, depending on the context” and “hell yes”. From there, you can work out which new things you and a partner are both keen on, and which activities you want to steer clear of. This is an easy way to start a discussion about sex or communicate turn ons/offs if this doesn’t come naturally to you!
As part of our new couples play collection, VUSH has launched a yes, no, maybe list of their own — check out our curiosity quiz. From dirty talk to roleplay, this list include a bunch of fun things to include into your sexual repertoire. This is a free PDF resource for all VUSH babes, so go ahead and download it now!
7. Add a pillow
Adding a pillow or prop to your sex life can make a bigger difference than you’d think. Place a pillow (or two) underneath the receiving partner’s pelvis so their hips are raised. Adding a pillow increases clitoral contact and helps you engage your core/glutes to increase sensitivity, while giving you flexibility to move your pelvis to promote orgasm. During intercourse, adding a pillow allows for deeper penetration.
Don’t have a pillow nearby? Use a towel or anything else soft and comfy to support you.
8. Change up your location
Having sex somewhere new always makes it seem more exciting, right? Put the bedroom on pause for a second and try getting steamy in the shower, cuddly on the couch, or kinky in the kitchen. A new location can feel fun, exploratory, or even forbidden (if that’s your vibe). Plus, having an armchair or a bench nearby is bound to inspire some creativity in your sex positions.
Done it in every room in the house already? It may be time to travel. Everyone’s got a good vacay sex story, and if you don’t, this is your chance to create one. Go for a sexy staycay and book a hotel room, or start thinking about your next holiday!
9. Dial up the sexting
Speaking of new places to have sex, have you tried online? Sexting and sending nudes is a fun way to explore without being in the same room. Sexting is a great form of foreplay — it builds anticipation and creates intimacy between partners. It’s also an opportunity to communicate your deepest desires and firmest boundaries. It’s a chance to build on your sexual communication, in a hot way! Don’t forget to get consent, though. You can find more tips on sexting on our blog.
10. Experiment with edging
Edging is a form of orgasm control that aims to intensify orgasm. The goal is to delay your orgasm by bringing down the intensity of the stimulation just before you feel like you’re going to finish, then building it back up again. You should feel more pleasure each time you do this, so that the eventual orgasm feels more powerful.
Including a vibrating sex toy is a great way to try edging. With a sex toy, you can adjust the pleasure settings to suit the amount of pressure or intensity you need. Another option is to switch from toys to hands (or other body parts) when you want to back off a bit, then bring the toy back in when you’re ready to amp things up. We recommend a vibrating penis stroker or a clitoral vibrator for this.
Read more on Stimulation:
Curious about partnered play? Read our tips for introducing sex toys with a partner and guide to asking for what you want in the bedroom.
For more content on sex and relationships, read our VUSH Stimulation Blog. We’ve got articles on the benefits of masturbation, the top 10 sex ed resources, and even beginner-friendly guides to using a rabbit vibrator or a bullet vibrator.