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Welcome to your personal guide to self love. If you’re a total newbie or seasoned pro use our guide and tips for leveling up your pleasure practice. Plus you can use our popular 14 days calendar for daily prompts, challenges & affirmations.

Why masturbate?

There are many health and wellbeing benefits of masturbation including;

💖 Better sleep zzzzzz

Masturbation releases oxytocin a sleep-promoting hormone that encourages relaxation of muscles after orgasm, helping prepare your mind and body for sleep.

💖 Stress Relief

As well as the physical effects, your mind also benefits from hormones relaxed during an orgasm. Dopamine the happiness hormones help to elevate your mood, making you feel calmer and happier.

💖 Improves your sex life

Masturbation can help strengthen your pelvic muscles and lead to more powerful OOss for all sexes! Not only does it teach you what you enjoy, which you can then share with your partner, but it can also help strengthen your pelvic muscles. This can lead to harder, longer-lasting erections in men, and more powerful orgasms for both men and women.

💖 Helps you last longer

Regularly masturbating has proved to aid with climax control and improve stamina. Masturbating regularly and trying techniques such as edging has also been proven to aid with climax control and improve stamina over time.

💖 It can reduce pain

Many people who have periods find that indulging in a solo session while on their period helps to ease the symptoms of menstrual cramping, as well as boosting their mood.

There are also studies exploring the potential of orgasms to reduce headaches and migraines.

💖 Boosts your immune system

Having regular orgasms can help to increase the number of microbe-killing leukocytes in your blood, which help reduce your vulnerability to germs and decrease your recovery time during sickness.

Myth Busting!

Unfortunately, there are a lot of harmful stories out there about masturbation. Here are some corkers that are simply untrue

❌ It’ll make you go blind

A famous 1760 pamphlet about masturbation called ‘Onania’ highlighted a range of so-called consequences of masturbation. The possibility of going blind was one of them. It’s now 2023 and we know that there is absolutely zero chance you will go blind after masturbating.

❌ Reduces sperm count

Regular masturbation and ejaculation will NOT negatively impact fertility or sperm count. The body constantly produces sperm cells and will never run out (no matter how many times a day you get off). Age and other health factors can affect sperm count, but masturbation does not.

❌ Lowers libido

Masturbation does not lower your libido — in fact, if you’re masturbating regularly, that probably means you have a healthy libido and plenty of sexual desire! Libido actually isn’t based on how much you masturbate or have sex; it relates to how much you want sex and your motivation for sex.

❌ People in relationships don’t masturbate

Really? In the same way people in relationships don’t take hot baths, go to the gym, or treat themselves to a weekly manicure? Masturbating is completely normal and for many people, simply part of their regular self-care regime.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re partnered up or living your best single life – masturbation is for everyone and those in relationships can enjoy it just as much too.

❌ Masturbating is not normal

Repeat to self: Masturbating is completely, utterly normal. According the world’s largest ever masturbation survey published by TENGA, it was found that 78 percent of adults in the world masturbate.

Ready to delve in... here’s our top tips to get you started

1. Set the mood 🔥

Create a sensual space that makes you feel safe and relaxed. Soft bedding and pillows to lay on, light a scented candle, add some chilled or sensual music.

2. Start slow and explore 🔥

This is where the fun really starts. Experiment with touching yourself in different areas with various pressures, intensities, and motions. 

Vulvas tend to enjoy rubbing, circling, or tapping motions on the clitoris, gyrating or grinding against the vulva, and gentle pressure around the vaginal opening and internally against the vaginal walls. 

Penises generally prefer stroking or circling of the penis around the tip, shaft and frenulum, and sometimes gentle cradling or squeezing of the testes.

3. Life’s better with lube 🔥

Even if you’re not using a sex toy, lube will make masturbation easier and more comfortable for you. Water-based lube is perfect because it’s gentle and won’t stain your clothes or sheets. Apply lube to your body in a sensual way can be great foreplay. The Feelin’ Myself Intimate Gel is our best lube recommendation!

4. Use a vibrator 🔥

Sex toys offer sensations that aren’t available through hands alone. There’s no shame in using a vibrator or other sex toy to your self-pleasure practice. Start by testing your toy on your hand first on the lowest setting, and using lube to make things easier. A wand vibrator, bullet vibrator, or clitoral suction vibrator is a good place to start.

Check out our pop collection great beginners toys and discreet

5. Orgasm (optional) 🔥

Eventually, you may feel like you’re going to orgasm. If you’re not sure what orgasm is like, it can feel like a genital sneeze or a build of wonderful tingly sensations with a pleasurable release. Focusing on your breath, using audible sounds, and exploring natural movement can help orgasm happen or feel stronger. Don’t worry if you don’t get to the point of orgasm — as long as you feel good in your body, connect to yourself, and reap some benefits, you are masturbating correctly.

6. Aftercare 🔥

After you orgasm, you may feel a range of emotions, relaxation and relief, happiness and bliss, or sometimes even guilt or shame. It’s important to take care of yourself, your emotions, and your body after masturbating. Wipe or rinse yourself clean of any lubes or bodily fluids. Wash, charge, and store away any sex toys you used.

Erogenous Zones

Let’s dive into some of the most sensitive and pleasurable erogenous zones, along with some tips for how you can bring the best out of them.

Neck 💋

Often associated with kissing and biting (hello hickeys!), the neck can be a super sensitive area. You can stimulate with your hands, whether it’s a strong massage around the lower neck towards the shoulders, or a gentle tracing of the fingertips along the neck towards the collarbone.

Ears 👂

Another hot spot for kissing and biting, the ears are a very sensitive area for some. Whether it’s an intimate tuck of the hair behind the ear, or a sensual nibble on the lobes, the ears can feel sexier than you might have once thought. Experiment with kissing, sucking, blowing, stroking, nibbling, or gently breathing onto the ear. An added bonus would be getting up close and personal for some dirty talk!

Nipples 🌼🌼

Nipples are a popular erogenous zone to explore during sex. But let’s get one thing straight — nipple play has no gender or sexuality. For those with a menstrual cycle, the phase of your cycle or whether you’re pregnant can affect nipple sensitivity. You can stimulate with fingertips, tongues, or sex toys, the opportunities are endless. Each person will like a different amount of pressure on their nipples.

Inner thighs 🦵

The inner thighs are so sensitive and oh-so-close to the ultimate erogenous zone that even just a graze can set your loins ablaze. Run your fingertips down the front of the thighs, slowly moving your way inward while you kiss their lips, neck, and chest. You can also use a toy’s vibrations to add excitement and anticipation.

Clitoris 🌸

The clit is more than just a little button at the top of the vulva, it’s a whole entire network inside the body. Shaped like a wishbone, the clitoral network sits around the vagina and even becomes erect (yes, like a penis). ​​Use fingers, hands, or a vibrator to do rubbing, circling, tapping, stroking, figure eight or pulsing motions. We recommend the Empress 2 clitoral suction vibrator for clitoral orgasms!

G-Spot 🍀

The G Spot can be found internally within the vagina on the vaginal wall that faces the stomach. Everyone’s anatomy is different, so this could be located anywhere within 1-3 inches from the vaginal opening.

The big secret about the G Spot is that it's less of its own distinct spot and actually just the back of the clitoris. When the clitoris becomes erect, it presses up against the vaginal walls, which is why the G Spot can only be located once the body is aroused.

Hit the spot with Myth G Spot vibrator

Vagina 🌮

The most sensitive part of the vagina is the entrance and first internal third. This is why the initial act of penetrating the vaginal opening, and the feeling of being ‘full’, can feel so pleasurable. To stimulate the vagina, focus on the entrance using shallow techniques, apply gentle pressure to the walls, add lots of lube, and combine with clitoral stimulation.

Try our top rated Muse rabbit vibrator

Shaft 🍆

The shaft gets a lot of attention during sex, and for good reason. Like the clitoris, a penis becomes erect when aroused and the person’s shaft size appears to grow. It’s a sensitive spot with a lot of surface area to pleasure.

You can stimulate with the hands, mouth, vulva/vagina, anus, and sex toys. When it comes to toys, we recommend using a vibrating stroker on the shaft as toy can enhance your classic handjob by adding a ribbed sensation along with unique vibrations.

Perineum ✨

The perineum is the area of skin between the scrotum and anus on people with penises or between the vagina and anus on people with vulvas. Also known as the “gooch”, the perineum can be a highly sensitive spot.

Gently massaging the area with hands, fingers, or knuckles. The perineum is also a great spot to pay attention to during oral sex. We recommend trying a bullet vibrator for added intensity

Frenulum 💘

The part of skin on the underside of the penis that connects the head and the shaft. Although this spot is small it is the most sensitive part of the penis. It can be particularly sensitive for people with foreskin.

To stimulate the frenulum, first add lube. You can use your hands, working with the thumb or a fingertip, or focus on this area during oral sex. We recommend using a vibrating stroker for the frenulum too and emphasising the stroking motions around that spot.

Anus 🍑

Anal play is essential for some, but completely off the cards for others. While highly erogenous for all bodies, the anus can be particularly pleasurable for people with penises since it can involve prostate play.

External stimulation is a great way to start such as massage, rubbing, stroking, tapping, and circling motions can be fun either alone or in combination with stimulation on another erogenous zone. Experiment by using different parts of the hand, such as fingertips, knuckles, and palms.

Don’t forget the lube! Lube is essential for anal play, as the area does not self-lubricate (unlike the vagina).

Enhance your self love practice

Once you’ve worked out how you like to masturbate, it’s easy to get into a routine and reach orgasm before you’re ready to finish. You can enhance your experience and make it last longer, here’s our top two tips:

❤️‍🔥 Variety

Variety is the spice of life! To avoid ending the self-pleasure session before you’re ready, try mixing up the stimulation to help you last longer. Having variety within your masturbation practice so that your body doesn’t start to rely on the same type of sensation. 

If you feel like you’re going to orgasm but you don’t want to, change the pace or pressure of your touch, or switch from a steady vibration to a patterned setting on your vibrator. You might even discover something new that works just as well!

❤️‍🔥 Edging

Another way to last longer during masturbation and sex is to try edging. Edging during masturbating is when you build sexual tension and feel yourself reaching your peak, but stop before the climax and take the intensity back down a notch before building it back up. 

This act of teasing your body before orgasm increases your chance of maximising or intensifying the orgasm when it does eventually happen.

Top Self Love Positions

Here’s our favourite positions to change up your routine

Hump day 🐰

Start by lying on the bed on your stomach, using a pillow or two to support your stomach and hips. Use your hands or a toy (or both!) between your body and the pillow to rev things up.

Chair throne 👑

Sit on a chair that doesn’t have arms, like a dining room or folding chair. Tuck your feet and ankles around the chair legs, leaving your legs open

Shower power 💦

In the shower, place one foot on the side of the tub or shower seat, allowing full open access to your vulva. (If you don’t have anything to prop your foot on, simply lean back against a wall and move one knee to the side.) Use your fingers or use the removable showerhead stream to tease, or pick up your favourite water-resistant vibrator for guaranteed orgasms.

On your knees 💍

Begin on your knees on the bed, or another soft and comfy surface, with your upper body upright. Gently open your knees to a position that feels comfortable for you. Supporting yourself with one arm, you can lean back or lean forward to hold onto a headboard or the wall.

Butterfly 🦋

Flutter and play your way to stronger orgasms in this yogic, Lotus-inspired masturbation position.

14 Day Calendar

14 days of self love, new ways to celebrate your body and prioritise your pleasure